Decisions

Feels like everytime I go on a holiday with my family, something bad happens. Somehow. 

Just this week, both the local universities that I have applied to have gotten back to me, and both have rejected me. Honestly not sure how to feel about this... Expected but at the same time can't help but feel disappointed? Maybe if I have studied harder then I would have gotten in? Or maybe if I have tried harder for the interview? Now I just feel lost. Very lost. Unsure of what to do next.

The idea of going overseas to study sounds amazing. To live the life that I've always wanted. To explore. To be independent. To experience. And of course, to be with my boyfriend (who's also gonna be going overseas for studies) is a plus point. But do I really want to leave my parents? Do I really want to leave them with this financial burden?

But what can I do? 

For now I think all I need is for people to stop asking me questions about my future plans, or about my studies. I just want to avoid reality. I don't want to deal with this.  And maybe it would help if there's someone to advise me on what to do. Because I have no idea at all. 

UPDATE:

I.am.beyond.thankful.

Also really have to thank the bf for being there for me when I opened the news, for comforting me, giving so much advices and also going around asking about my course 😭
And also to everyone else who bothered asking about the results.

So blessed.