被爱的感觉真好... 但是我不能贪心, 不能自私.

I screwed up, again. Told myself over and over again to never ever make the same mistake again but look at what's happening now? My feelings are in a big big mess now. Broke down today due to overflowing guiltiness. Really can't bring myself to hurt someone who is treating me so so well. He deserves so much more than this. Its my fault and he shouldn't be suffering. Why? Why can't i be the only one suffering, since its all my fault? Why must he love me? Why did i told him i love him when i'm unsure of my own feelings, when i'm still having feelings for my ex? Why am i such a bitch? Me and him, we shouldn't have started at all. Its all a big big mistake. Now its time to call it a day, clear up the mess and reflect. Fuck man feeling so so so guilty now i think i shall just lock myself at home. 

The words that I though could never be said and the feelings that I thought could never be expressed.
Feels good to have the courage to just babble everything out here.