How things used to be.
Day 20 - Write 5 messages to 5 different people.
Decided to make this post an emotional one (for me). Just words from the bottom of my heart.
Dear Hannah,
I miss you so much. I really have no idea what happened to us. Remember when we used to be best friends in our clique? We would stick to each other and do everything together even when we're with our clique. We would insult each other but both of us know that we're only joking around with each other. All those little quarrels that we had only strengthens our friendship. You were someone whom I cherished a lot, someone whom I was thankful to have. You'd cheer me up whenever I'm sad, even through texts. And when you had problems, you know that you can share them with me. Probably because we're in different class this year, we started drifting. You changed, things changed, we changed. Found out that you've been keeping things from me one fine day, and things got worse. Probably that's how friendship goes right? We met, we became friends, you meet someone better, we drift. You probably won't see this but whatever.
Dear Keekee,
Among all my friends, you're someone that means a lot a lot to me. So much that words can't describe. You're someone whom don't mind if I do crazy things, cause you'd join me. We'd do everything together, no matter crazy, silly, stupid, retarded, lame or whatever. You'd know when I'm not my usual self, when I'm upset, one of the few who can read my mind, who understands me the most. We've been through hard times together. When everyone left, you're the only one who stayed, who cared, who loved. Just like what you said, "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." and "Real friends don't get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something more offensive." But because of something you said about me during 2010, i tried pushing you away, tried hating you, but... didn't work. Up till now I still can't get over it, and I have no idea why you said it. You have no idea how much it hurt me. But whatever, let bygones be bygones, what matters is now right? :-) I love you best friend, let's stop drifting alright? :'-D
You're one friend that I'm super proud of. They say that your ex can't be your friend, but look at us. We're not friends, but we're best friends. :'-) To me, you're not only a friend, but also my brother. You're someone whom I can depend on, one of the few guys whom I feel comfortable with, someone whom I can trust. I can't believe how fast time flies, we've already known each other for 9 years. I miss those times when we have heart to heart talks, just the 2 of us. I miss those times when we would just fool around for hours and hours, times when you and Keekee chill out at my house, doing nothing except crap crap and more crapping. But again..... People change, you change, things change, and then we kinda drift. You're not the guy that I know 3 years ago. Yes you matured, you still do silly things and all, but maybe its just that we're not that close anymore. I miss you so much... :')
Though among all of them I've known you for the shortest time, but right now you're the closest to me now. You don't understand me as much as they do, but you do know how to make me feel better. You make me happy in rl and also in texts, but I guess its just you right? :-) You and your lame jokes, your silly-ness, your retard-ness and everything. Nevertheless, despite how short we've known each other, you're one of the few guys that I cherish a lot, and able to make me feel comfortable with you. I love your character, your personality, how retarded you can be at times. I hope you know that you're really important to me and I'll always be there for you, just like how you're there for me. I can't make you smile like how you make me smile, but I'll be your listening ear. We don't have much memories together but I'm sure we will in the future. :D
And last but not least......
Dear Calvin,
Everything changed the second you left for US - you, me, them, things, us. Its been so long since we had a proper, long conversation. So dumb of me to actually think that we could be good friends even after we broke up. I guess we'll never be? haha.. Right now, I only hope that you're genuinely happy there with your friends and blah. You can do many crazy things, enjoy yourself and everything you know. I'm sorry for not being a good girlfriend, not being good enough for you and all, 'm probably the worst girlfriend in the whole world hah. You're not the most perfect guy in the whole but you're definitely the most caring boyfriend. :-) You're so important to me but right now I don't think I mean a single thing to you anymore. Really hate how distant we are now and how we aren't talking like how best friends talk. So much things to tell you but don't think I'll be strong enough to tell you. I miss you.
I love all of them so much. These are the people that no matter how hard I try to push them away, no matter how hard I try to ignore them, I can't. They became a part of my life, and will always be. I hope that they know no matter how much we've changed, no matter how distant we are now, I'll still be there for them, always.
p/s: damn this post is so sensitive.. :-( ummm ok
p/p/s: notice how my eyes go from small to big to big to small? :-( my eyes have become bigger nowadays compared to last time and my friends say its because I haven't been laughing a lot/very hard now... hmmm...
p/p/p/s: I'M FINALLY DONE WITH THIS POST!!!!!!!!! wooohooo squeezed a lot of my brain juice for this post phew
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